Wow

Ok, so, yeah, wow…it’s been a long time. I just want to thank those of you out there that have encouraged me to start blogging again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with it like before, but we’ll see.

The reason I haven’t been around lately, on this blog or Suki’s, is because I left my husband a little over a month ago. It was a long time coming, but it was still really hard, and it still is, but I know it’s the right decision. It’s amazing to me how many people are like “Hey! Finally! Bout time!” Well, maybe not in those words, but, you know what I mean. My whole family is being so supportive and helpful, I know I couldn’t do it without them.

I kind of feel reborn, as stupid as that sounds. I got married at 19 and I’m 26 now, and those years were full of caring for children, a house, pets, paying bills and working when most of my friends were going to college, partying and dating around. And I think that time of your life should be that way. You need a time to be selfish so that when you’re ready to start a family you’ve had time to yourself and you can give yourself fully to others. But now I’m making time for myself and it feels so good. I’ve lost about 16 pounds (not that I was overweight, but I did have a little extra around my hips and thighs- don’t we all?) I’m blonde now (and not really sure how I feel about it) and, though I hate to think of myself as one of those girls that goes tanning, I do and you know what? Being tan rocks! It makes me feel better for some reason, so who cares, right?

Of course, the downside of being separated is I feel really lonely at night. It’s hard not having another adult around, so I’ve been picking up a couple extra shifts at work here and there just so I can be around my friends and not at home going crazy with screaming kids! And the money doesn’t hurt, either. I have about $1000 less every month, now, because he needs money to pay rent and food and whatever else, so I’m pretty broke.

Ok, enough babbling about my problems…from here on out I’ll document my dating adventures, hahaha! Yeah, right, maybe in a few months

I Need This…

Only a lot bigger. And, well, not exactly like that….but you get the idea. I need a fence. Badly. I am so tired of chasing the pugs out of the neighbor’s yard, seriously. I know what you’re thinking: “Why don’t you just leash them every time you take them outside?” Yes, that does sound easy, but it’s not. See, when Suki has to go, she starts running around the house in circles, and (this is pretty gross) her butt kind of sticks out so I know I have a matter of seconds before she has an accident. There is simply no time.

And then there’s Joey. He shows no signs of needing to go, so I’m kind of always on alert with him. And Ava trips out when the dogs need to go out because she doesn’t want to be left inside the house so I’d have to find her shoes and make sure she’s dressed and AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So you can see why it’s easier to just open the sliding glass door and watch them from inside, but Suki chased Marie a couple of days ago and I ran out after her to tell her to stop, but she had already crossed the street and was in an empty lot. Holy crap. She could have been hit by a car. She loves to chase the cats outside, or people walking, or other dogs, or cars. Pretty much anything. I need a fence.

Of course, that would mean I need about $1000, too, which I don’t have. BUT, season is here so I should start making pretty good money soon. I could save my $ for a week and pay for it, but it’s hard to do. That would probably mean I couldn’t put gas in my car so I’d have to walk the 17 miles to work, or we’d have to eat canned food or something. No bueno.

 

Green Team!

This is weird, but awesome, except for the “rape” part. I don’t know, but certain things you can just never make funny. Or maybe I’m just super sensitive to it. Whatever, enjoy!

 

Green Team on FunnyOrDie.com

Excuse me, Sir, but you’re a jackass

Working in the restaurant business sucks. The money doesn’t, but the kind of crap you have to put up with is just ridiculous. I mean, I don’t understand why angry, mean people go out to dinner. Why don’t they just stay home and yell at the tv or something?

So this is what happened to me last night: this older dude with white hair sat at my table with two other guys. I stopped by and said hi, asked if they would like a glass of wine to begin and they said they needed some time to look the list over. Great, no prob, I stopped back a while later and asked if they had decided. I was given a blank stare by this asshole. No one said anything to me. Seriously. They all just kept talking or reading their menus. That’s not unusual in my restaurant, actually. People love to ignore the servers there. It must have something to do with fine dining: people like to treat the wait staff like servants or whatever.

So, anyway, I walked away, telling them to take their time and let me know when they were ready. I didn’t stop back for A LONG TIME. Like, 10 minutes or something. I decided I’d let them let ME know because I wasn’t going to be ignored again. The asshole waves me over and they order a $109 bottle of Pinot Noir. This one:

Great. I get the bottle, bring the glasses and pour a taste for the gentleman who ordered it. Not the old guy, a different one. He approves of it, so I pour for everyone else. I take the order, turn it in, and everything is going fine.

Then they order another bottle of Flowers. Awesome. That’s over $200 in wine alone. Sweet. Since it’s the same varietal, the same year, the same EVERYTHING, I didn’t bring new glasses. The asshole says “We’d like fresh glasses, please.” “Of course, sir” I said and brought new glasses. They still had a full glass from the previous bottle, so I just opened the bottle (after presenting it to the nice(r) guy) and left it on the table. I then kept an eye on their old glasses so I could see when it would be time to pour the new bottle into the new glasses.

The asshole was ready first, so I filled his glass. “Wait a minute! Did you let the other gentleman sample it first?” “No, sir, I’m sorry. Since it is the EXACT SAME WINE I didn’t realize he wanted to taste it.” Of course, I was stumbling a little bit more than that. It’s not cool to be called out like that. And, by the way, it’s fine to just pour if it’s the same wine, it’s just this guy is the father of Satan. Jackass says “I can’t taste the wine correctly because my glass is full” (he was saying this to his friend, but it was obviously pointed at me since I filled his glass, and then when I poured a sample for the other guy he held his hand out to tell me to stop…LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHEN TO STOP!!! THIS IS WHAT I DO EVERY DAY!)

So this dork says that it doesn’t taste the same as the first bottle. “It’s not good. It has more acid than the first.” “Yeah, it does” the other guy agrees. “Send it back. We’re not going to pay such a high price for that. Bring us another bottle.” “Of course, gentlemen, but I just want to let you know that all the other bottles are the same year,” “That’s fine, just bring it.” So now I have a returned, expensive bottle of wine that we don’t serve by the glass and I’m getting ready to open another one that they probably won’t like, either.

It gets better. He sent back his veal milanese because the risotto was mushy and the arugula wasn’t good. And then he tried to convince the other guys they didn’t like theirs, either, but they were like “It’s fine. It’s good.” Even they didn’t like him, I could tell.

“Jack obviously isn’t here tonight” he said. Jack is the owner and you know what? He doesn’t even cook! He knows shit about food, that’s why other people run the restaurant for him! HA! And he was there, but he was having dinner with his family, so I said “Actually, sir, he IS here.” which probably pissed him off, but at this point I didn’t care. I knew I was screwed, so I figured I’d have some fun with it!

Wow, this has really turned into a long story. Oh! And they did keep that 3rd bottle, they said it was better than the other one. Dumbasses. The manager, another server (who has passed her semmolier exam) and the bartender all smelled and sipped the returned bottle and said it was fine. I hate people.

Kids Rock

So we were at Target yesterday and Yesenia said “Mommy, let’s go to the bakery. There’s something there that I want that I saw with Daddy.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see”

“No, really, what is it?”

“A gingerbread house. Daddy wouldn’t buy it for me. He said it was too expensive. But I want it.”

So what did I do? Yep. I bought it. Truth is, I wanted it, too! It was $10, but c’mon, it’s almost Xmas, kind of, and what’s more fun than decorating a gingerbread house? NOTHING! Actually, it was a new experience for me, because I let the girls just do whatever they wanted to it. I didn’t tell them where to put anything, it was all up to them. And this is how it turned out: 

 

Not terrible, really. Could have been a lot worse, actually. I put the house together and I helped put the icing where they wanted it, but they decided what kind of candy was going to go where and everything. A lot of candy never even made it onto the house – the gumdrops were the favorite. Who doesn’t love gumdrops, c’mon, now?!

And this picture has nothing to do with the gingerbread house. Ava (she’s 3, remember) grabbed the camera as I was cleaning out Suki’s ears yesterday (she has another really bad ear infection, you can see how nasty the q-tip is) and decided to take a picture of me. Well, the sheets to Yesenia’s bed were in the washer and Suki is LICKING her wax off the q-tip. Nice. This is my life.  

Flight of the Conchords – Bret You Got It Goin On

Oh, man, these guys are awesome. I prefer their live performances to their taped skits that were done for HBO or whatever, but this one is cute.

I obviously have nothing to talk about if I keep posting videos…sorry!

Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

“Business socks”, hahaha! I just heard these guys on “Bob & Sheri” this morning and it cracked me up, especially the end. Enjoy

Must Have Shirt

Ok, WordPress, I don’t get you. I know how to center pictures, now, or at least I thought I did, but you won’t let me center the botton picture! WTF?! And, “align left” is apparently not working, since my words are centered right now. Aghhhh!!!!

Anyway, I’ve discovered the joys of etsy.com, aka “the best place on the internet”. I just bought a couple things, and now I’m debating buying this shirt, but I’m not sure if I’ll look like a total dork wearing a shirt with a pug on it. I love the color, and it looks like it would fit nicely, and the pug is adorable, buuuut….will I look like a nerd?

Screw it! I’m gonna buy it! 

  

Stinky Dog

Joey stinks. A lot. Just his face, actually. I’m using this picture, even though it’s not the best, because you can really see all his wrinkles. Suki doesn’t have a very wrinkly face, so I can get away with cleaning her folds out once a week or even once every other week and there isn’t even that much to clean.

Joey, on the other hand, needs to have his face cleaned daily. And what comes out is so disgusting…oh, man. It’s like, dark red crud that STINKS! And it’s not like I’m trying to smell it, you really can’t help but smell it! And his ears are pretty nasty, too.

So I’ve turned into a cleaning machine. I’m either cleaning Joey’s stinky face or I’m trying to express Suki’s anal glands or I’m cleaning Yesenia’s or Ava’s face or butt or I’m cleaning the house! And when I’m at work, at the end of the night it’s time to clean stuff for my sidework and I’m like “Screw that! I don’t want to clean ANYTHING EVER AGAIN”. I don’t really care if the cappuccino machine is properly cleaned, sorry.

 

$240 worth of pudding

Yet another sketch. Aw, man, this takes me back to 8th grade! I was so ahead of my time….lol!